Recovered phone

Last week, I had my phone stolen out of a friend’s car. It was in the glove compartment and someone broke the window and took everything in the glove compartment. For those of you who know phones, my phone was a w600i Cingular phone. For those of you who don't, they run $300-$400! I reported it stolen and then bought a new phone. I immediately went to the Cingular store in C"h and told them that if anyone comes into the store with that model phone to get it activated he should look at the pictures or music and see if its mine.

Well, today, I got a phone call from store manager. He told me that the "headset I ordered was in." I didn't understand right away but after he went on saying the blue or orange (the colors of the 2 frames on the phone) headset he ordered was in and I should come pick it up. Finally I understood and asked him if the guy who has the phone was in the store. After confirming this, I told him to hold the guy there and I was on my way over. On the way I saw a friend that is in Shomrim and asked for his help. He called the cops and the rest is history.

In the end, I got my phone back, thanks to a very alert store manager, thanks David!!!

MY CURRENT HERO: JOE ARPAIO

TO THOSE OF YOU NOT FAMILIAR WITH JOE ARPAIO


HE IS THE MARICOPA ARIZONA COUNTY SHERIFF

AND HE KEEPS GETTING ELECTED OVER AND OVER.







THIS IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY:
Sheriff Joe Arpaio (in Arizona) who created the "tent city jail":


He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them.

He stopped smoking and porno magazines in the jails. Took away their weights. Cut off all but "G" movies.

He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects.

Then he started chain gangs for women so he wouldn't get sued for discrimination.

He took away cable TV until he found out there was a federal court order that required cable TV for jails. So he hooked up the cable TV again only let in the Disney channel and the weather channel.
When asked why the weather channel he replied, so they will know how hot it's gonna be while they are working on my chain gangs.


He cut off coffee since it has zero nutritional value.

When the inmates complained, he told them, "This isn't the Ritz/Carlton. If you don't like it, don't come back."

He bought Newt Gingrich' lecture series on videotape that he pipes into the jails.

When asked by a reporter if he had any lecture series by a Democrat, he replied that a democratic lecture series might explain why a lot of the inmates were in his jails in the first place.



More on the Arizona Sheriff:

With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 degrees just set a new record), the Associated Press reports: About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.

On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 138 degrees inside the week before.

Many were also swathed in wet, pink towels as sweat collected on their chests and dripped down to their pink socks.
"It feels like we are in a furnace," said James Zanzot, an inmate who has lived in the tents for 1 year. "It's inhumane."


Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: "It's 120 degrees in Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear, but they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your damned mouths!"

Way to go, Sheriff! Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their crimes - not live in luxury until it's time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can't afford to have for themselves.

I say we should adopt this mans ideas around the country and watch the crime rate drop drastically!

fun things to do in a walmart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares ... and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

"Ladies and gentleman the plane has just fallen apart"

I recently flew to California for a week, generally when I fly to California I do it on Jet Blue but tickets were almost $800, and I had mileage on American so that’s what I flew.

As we prepared to leave the terminal I thought to myself that although the seats were small, I’m close to 6 foot, and the video screens on the ceiling were dying, at least the flight was on time and the stewardesses were polite, friendly and helpful. I was seated in the window seat next to an old couple who seemed to be in their mid 80s, I like to talk on the plane as it helps to pass the time but when I tried to strike up conversation with my geriatric neighbors they got this really scared look in their eyes and gave polite, curt answers their eyes darting around as if looking for escape. Now people who know me know that I am very friendly and easy going, intimidating is not usually something I list on my resume but what you gonna do?

We begin to taxi out of the terminal when our captain comes on the intercom “ladies and gentleman, this is Captain McEnroe speaking I’ll be your captain for this flight, we’re gonna be flying via… over states such as…,” at which point his voice starts to sound like Jerry Seinfeld in my head – “I’m gonna eat my peanuts now, not all of them because the bag is so big…” (For those of you who don’t know what I’m referring to I recommend you check out Seinfeld’s stand-up routine it’s very funny.)

As the captain is finishing his standard speech we hear him say “hey one of our transponders just stopped working”, at which point a stewardess runs to the cockpit to tell him that we all heard that! So he comes back on to say, “ladies and gentlemen it’s nothing to be concerned with, the transponder is the device that communicates with the towers on the ground and every plane has a backup transponder, so we’re in good shape.” Ten minutes later however, he’s back on the intercom telling us that “the second transponder just blew, so we need to return to the terminal to get it fixed/ replaced, but it should only be about 15 minutes.”

Well naturally no one is allowed to leave the plane and we all watch as the mechanic comes and leaves followed by the captain telling us that “the transponders are fried” and “they are having trouble locating a replacement unit”, but “be patient it shouldn’t be too long”, at this point I pushed the call button to get a stewardess’ attention and asked her if it would be possible to get the entertainment started to pass the time, but I was told that it’s against regulations, which is a bunch of BS as Jet Blue has the TV going as soon as you step onto the plane.

After a long period of time our favorite captain comes back on to tell us all that “the transponder is in and working fine” but we need to wait for the “gas he ordered to arrive.”

At this point everyone says something to effect of WTF! He was about to take off without gas?! I turned to the old couple next to me and say, “but he has some good news, he just saved a bunch of money by switching to Geico,” which actually made them laugh followed by the darting eyes and nervous smiles.

We finally took off at 9:15 PM (the flight was scheduled to depart at 5:00 PM) with me saying T’filot Haderech (prayer for safe travel) with the most concentration I have ever had in my life, and once we reached the cruising altitude the stewardesses came by to sell us headsets for the movie and entertainment portion of the flight, I couldn’t believe that after keeping us on the ground for over 4 hours they were gonna charge us for freaking headsets! I asked what movie was playing and then declined to pay for “rumor has it” starring Jennifer Anniston, letting it be known that I would rather saw my own arm off than watch that crap…

Anyways… after an otherwise uneventful flight we finally land in LAX and are forced to taxi for half an hour because no terminals were available, I finally got off of the death trap I had entrusted my life to at three thousand feet in the air.

To make a long story short, the baggage compartment on the plane was jammed so we couldn’t get our luggage; mind you they only said this after waiting 45 minutes.

At this point I thanked G-D that the plane made the flight and went home 5 hours after I was supposed to get there….

NEVER AGAIN WILL I FLY AMERICAN and thanks to Renegade I won’t be flying southwest either.

AAAnnnndddd... wer'e back!

Sorry for the delay been busy and stuff, insert usual excuses here, but im back and hopefully will be bloggin again on a regular basis.

oil changing by gender

HOW TO CHANGE YOUR OIL -stolen from bezerkely

Women:

1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.

2. Drink a cup of coffee.

3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Men:

1. Go to O'Reilly auto parts and write a check for 50 dollars for oil, filter, oil

2. lift (AKA kitty litter), hand cleaner and scented tree.

3. Discover that the used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.

4. Open a beer and drink it.

5. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

6. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

7. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

8. Place drain pan under engine.

9. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

10. Give up and use crescent wrench.

11. Unscrew drain plug.

12. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.

13. Clean up.

14. Have another beer while oil is draining.

16. Look for oil filter wrench.

17. Give up; poke oil filter with Phillips screwdriver and twist it off.
Beer.

18. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.

19. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.

20. Throw oil lift (AKA kitty litter) on oil spilled during step 18.

21. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.

22. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.

23. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.

24. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

25. Remember drain plug from step 11.

26. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

27. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.

28. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.

29. Bang head on floor board in reaction.

30. Begin cussing fit.

31. Throw wrench.

32. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December(1992) in the left, uhhh, arm, yeah lets go with arm...

33. Clean up; apply Band-Aid to knuckle.

34. Beer.

35. Beer.

36. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.

37. Beer.

38. Lower car from jack stands.

39. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.

40. Move car back to apply more oil lift (AKA kitty litter) to fresh oil spilled during step 23.

41. Drive car.

Because of Yirmi

I know but whatever....

You Are 7 Up

Understated and subtle, people warm up to you slowly. But once they're hooked, they can't imagine going back to anyone else! Your best soda match: Diet Coke Stay away from: Mountain Dew

What Kind of Soda Are You?